You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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