New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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