I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
