found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
