I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
