im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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