when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
