Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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