Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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