drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
