I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
