garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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