So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
