brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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