is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
