you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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