nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
