i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
