Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
