did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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