It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
