you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We named our party play list daddy issues
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
