Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
