NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
