and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
