you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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