you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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