I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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