Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
