so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
