I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize