we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
