Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
