my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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