the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
