Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
