First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
