C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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