would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She announced her abortion via fbk
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
