Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
