Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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