I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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