so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
