Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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