im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
