never play flip cup with pint glasses
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
