btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
