It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
