omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
