I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
And then he peed in my hair
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