I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
4 words: hood of his car
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
