I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Can I color on your dick again?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
we should paint friendship bongs
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