PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
